Fantasy Booking: WrestleMania XXXIV

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

The Dream:  As part of a cross-promotional effort with HBO, a hologram Andre the Giant enters the ‘Dre and eliminates everyone else before carrying the trophy and himself into the back never to be seen again, like the”Heroes gets remember, but legends never die,”scene from The Sandlot where Benny the Jet meets Babe Ruth..

The Nightmare: In order to appease stockholders by cutting costs in as public a manner as possible, HBO and WWE’s partnership consists instead of them constructing a “Vince McMahon’s monster” out of left over performers from the 80’s to sort of look like Andre. Who is still the most over person in the match.

The Hope: For this to be quick, relatively painless and feature at least one fun celebrity cameo to make the stink on the person who wins the trophy — and inevitably has it broken over their backs — doesn’t last too long.

The Reality: A completely meaningless match, made even more meaningless because it was book ended by the great  Royal Rumble which happened just a month or so ago and the GREATEST ROYAL RUMBLE, which is the name of a show happening before the month is out, will feeling even less meaningful in the moments after it ends. We might even feel bad for the person.

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