What’s the Worst That Could Happen: The 2014 Elimination Chamber PPV

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber Match

ECMan

Sheamus vs. Christian vs. John Cena vs. Cesaro vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton (C)

Best Case Scenario: Christian is replaced by literally any one of the many many many better-suited performers in the company, like ones that could actually benefit from being in this match. Randy Orton FINALLY getting to punt somebody, because this is AMERICA god damn it.

Worst Case Scenario: Christian or John Cena wins, unless it leads directly to Cena-Wyatt main event at WrestleMania.

What Nick Wants to Happen: A match that doesn’t make me angry that The Shield and the Wyatts didn’t close the show, and doesn’t make me wonder why I am going to plunk down 10 dollars a month to see approximately 10 PPVs/Live Specials a year that are roughly this good or slightly worse.

What Will Happen: Randy Orton retains, likely through debatable Authority interference with Daniel Bryan, setting up — along with the Usos/NAO match — a reason for Vince McMahon to come back give a rub to both groups by pretending he’s still in charge of the company, because he’s in fact still in charge of the company.

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