Royal Rumble

Last night was the 2015 Royal Rumble, which answered two age old questions: How can one man subsist on German suplexes alone? And, how many adult Philadelphians acting like children who’ve had their favorite toy away does it take to nearly derail a professional wrestling show?

It’s the Royal Rumble, the State of the Union of the WWE! And you know what that means – time to figure out which way the WWE can make itself less palatable to overgrown manchildren who refuse to appreciate that the product isn’t made for them. OR something like that, we’ll just be focusing on the next entrant.