It’s time for
the most anticipated PPV of the year, Hell in a Cell! A double main event highlights a card which will be about 1000x better than people on the internet think it will and, because we love you, we’re giving you the whole preview spread again, starting off with Friday’s Angry Andy, a drinking game — we promise — and we’ve even brought back “What’s the Worst That Could Happen?” to ponder the existential loneliness of professional wrestling’s no man’s land between SummerSlam and Royal Rumble. All of this (for free!) before we drop our world famous Bang for Your Buck PPV review in your lap on Monday morning (probably.)
To make sure you don’t miss anything, follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook. Now that we’ve gotten the shameless plugs out of the way, let’s figure out What’s the Worst That Could Happen tonight in the great American city of Dallas, TX:
AJ Lee (C) vs. Paige
Best Case Scenario: It almost goes without saying that — at least on the main roster — these are the two best female performers in the company, so really anything that showcases that in any discernible way would be nice. Barring that, keeping the use of the word “crazy” by the all-male commentary team to somewhere in the single digits would be a dream come true.
Worst Case Scenario: The three middle-aged men on the commentary team decide that, instead of calling the match, they are going to reenact the old “three frogs” commercials, with “cuh” “ray” “zee” replacing “Bud” “wize” “err”.
What Nick Wants to Happen: A match that doesn’t make me feel compelled to hit the snack bar (read: pantry) and/or the powder room, and an Alicia sighting just for funzees. Maybe one that sets up a future feud for her and at least one of these two that makes even a modicum of sense. Seriously, even a drop.
What Will Happen: JBL and Jerry desperately trying to “out-misogyny” each other, like a particularly sad game of chicken. Also, a random and fundamentally meaningless bit of interference from Alicia that goes absolutely no where, but somehow allows A.J. to get the win.