SmackDown
(SPOILERS VIA LORDSOFPAIN.NET)
Batista starts the show, saying the fans begged for his return, then turned on him. Triple H comes out, and they bicker. Triple H books Batista vs. Sheamus in a “Hunter’s Protected Friends Grudge Match.” Or, you know, a singles match.
Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose d 3MB
The jobbingest jobbers who ever jobbed are on double duty this week. Good for them. Apparently, they actually get some offense in here, before doing the J.O.B. After the match, Kane comes out with the New Age Outlaws, & Ryback and Curtis Axel. That leads to…
Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose d RybAxel
After the match, Ryback eats a Superman Punch, and a triple powerbomb.
Sin Cara d Damien Sandow
Remember that time Damien Sandow took John Cena to the limit on Raw? Remember that time he lost to Sin Cara in 60 seconds? Don’t worry about it. We must plug Scooby Doo!
Renee Young interviews Big Show. Show says some of what Bray Wyatt says makes sense. This is either an interesting tease of what’s to come, or one giant red herring.
Fandango d Goldust
No sign of Cody. ‘Dango gets the win when Summer distracts Goldie.
Sheamus d Batista
This one ends by DQ, when Batista hits Sheamus with a chair. Sheamus apparently got busted up pretty good on a shot to the ringpost. Batista says he’ll be champion. I’m not so sure.
Bray Wyatt says we all wear masks, and he’s going to slay the Giant.
The Bellas d Tamina & AJ
More dissension between AJ and Tamina. Oh, and Vickie. Because people were asking themselves “hey, everything’s been pretty decent for a while. Where’s Vickie?”
Santino & Emma are on another date. It’s okay, I love them both. If anyone’s going to make this work, it’s these two.
Jack Swagger d Jimmy Uso
Swagger wins by submission in a quick, back-and-forth match.
Mark Henry d The Miz
Said to be a very physical match, until Henry wins it with the World’s Strongest Slam.
Rusev & Lana: still making appearances, still refusing to speak English.
Bray Wyatt d The Big Show
Show gets pinned after Sister Abigail. Lots of interference from Harper & Rowan. Wyatt poses over Show to close Smackdown.
SKIM THIS SHOW
Some good stuff, some filler. Nothing offensive.
