It’s Time to Go Home

Despite how incredibly wooden his mic work is, Brock Lesnar does actually come off as natural in his pre-taped promos. Mostly because he’s a meathead jock killing machine, and those are the type of mouthwords they make in real life.

Is Brock Lesnar going to rape CM Punk? Is that what he means by “he’s going to be victimized”?

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Outside of Big E’s pre-taped promo, this Natalya/Great Khali vs. Big E./AJ match was the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Legitimately. I don’t even know what to say.

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A (FIRST EVER) guest joke from Noah:

***WARNING! ACTUAL WRESTLING DISCUSSION AHEAD! PLEASE KEEP EYES AND EARS INSIDE KAYFABE*** Holy shit was this segments all kinds of fantastic. From beginning to end, this was a brilliant way to shoehorn in an added (if wholly unnecessary) element to one of the most anticipated organic main events in a long, long time. At least since CM Punk vs. John Cena from Money in the Bank 2011. Brad and Vince articulated why they are nefariously planning to screw over Daniel Bryan, how they are playing to do it, and all while pretending to be upstanding citizens. That Triple H came down — which made the crowd LOSE THEIR SHIT — to make it about him on some level is okay, because whether or not we like it, they need to push this McMahon vs. McMahon vs. McMahon feud, as it’s going to be the big money feud for the next six months while they try to build Daniel Bryan (I’m assuming) into the next big star alongside CM Punk and John Cena. This isn’t quite as good as the (I literally can’t believe I’m saying this) Miz TV bit that’s coming on later, but it’s still a perfect example of how you get non-smart fans even more excited for a match they were already crazy excited for. People (myself included) love Triple H, and his involvement will only generate more interest. Also, he can’t win the belt, so what’s the worst that could POSSIBLY happen? ***ACTUAL WRESTLING DISCUSSION NOW OVER PLEASE ENJOY YOUR COMPLIMENTARY SONIC MILKSHAKE ON THE WAY OUT***

We can all go home, that was the best sell of a Pedigree ever. Thank you, Brad. You’re perfect just the way you are.

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