What’s the Worst That Could Happen?: WWE Survivor Series 2014

Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match

Ryback, Erick Rowan, Big Show, Dolph Ziggler & John Cena vs. Seth Rollins, Kane, Rusev, Mark Henry & Luke Harper

Best Case Scenario: Team Authority runs the clean sweep after John Cena turns heel and gives an Attitude Adjustment to all four members of Team Cena at the same time. He then turns on the Authority and joins up with Rusev, at which point it’s explained that the spaceship that brought him here was really landed in the USSR.

Worst Case Scenario: Team Cena wins, and John Cena is put in charge of WWE programming and Creative, turns Monday Night Raw into a three-hour work out comedy show called “The Face that Runs The Place”. Wait… that’s actually pretty great. #VoteCena2016

What Nick Wants to Happen: A good, well-worked match that properly tells whatever story they are trying to tell. As long as it’s the Authority winning triumphantly on the back of Mark Henry, who devours John Cena whole to earn a title shot against Lesnar, like they used to determine No. 1 contenders back in the NWA, when men were men.

What Will Happen: There seems to be a consensus of no consensus. Some see to think that the entire earth is tilted in the favor of Team Cena, and that a Team Authority victory is a narrative impossibility. But, with WrestleMania looming large in six months, it’s likely time to use the free show to kick something into overdrive, and your correspondent has to agree with those that see Team Authority bring the (sledge)hammer down on Team Cena, especially with the stipulation that not only will people be “fired” if John Cena’s team loses, only the members of the team not named John Cena are on the chopping block. That’s an accident waiting to happen.

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