It’s time once again for EXTREME RULES, WWE’s FAVORITE post-WrestleMania PPV since Backlash! For the second time in three months, it’s on free TV so here goes nothing!
To make sure you don’t miss anything, follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook. Now that we’ve gotten the shameless plugs out of the way, let’s figure out What’s the Worst That Could Happen tonight in the great American city of Rosemont, IL:
Kickoff Match for the WWE Tag Team Championship
Cesaro & Tyson Kidd (c) vs The New Day
Best Case Scenario: President Obama, along with Luther, his Anger Translator, comes down the ring to support The New Day (in what’s essentially his adopted hometown) and distracts the referee for a roll-up victory.
Worst Case Scenario: Governor Scott Walker — as part of his 2016 campaign for president — comes from his neighboring state of Wisconsin to deport Cesaro and Tyson Kidd, replaced by “those nice, solid, American boys” The Ascension.
What Nick Wants To Happen: Kentucky Senator Rand Paul comes to the show, finds out that the performers are considered independent contractors despite clearly being employees of the company and demands an immediate government investigation into the matters. When asked, Paul says, “Listen, I’m all for the free market being the free market, but even I have to draw a line in the sand here. Are those guys even vaccinated?”
What Will Happen: The New Day win, after giving a twenty minute speech imploring Elizabeth Warren to join the campaign, citing concerns over financial improprieties involving the Clinton Foundation and “Hillary’s ten-thousand yard death stare”.