Over the course of seven days, there’s a lot of wrestling on TV. But only some of it is actually worth watching. That’s where Spoiler Alert comes in: we break down the spoilers of all of WWE’s pre-taped shows to let you know what you should watch, and which segments and full shows you should skim or skip. This week, Andy spares you from watching Ryback’s Twitter feed become his new gimmick.
Kofi Kingston d Curtis Axel. Said to be a solid match, with great crowd respond after Kofi pinned the WWE World Heavyweight Champion on Raw. As Kofi celebrates, Ryback’s music hits. The Big Guy circles the ring and leaves, laughing. Here’s hoping the rumors are true, and Kofi’s in for a major career makeover…like I pushed for months ago.
Damien Sandow d Sin Cara. More Ryback shenanigans ensue. It appears the theme for this episode is his bizarre Twitter personality coming to life.
Bad News Barrett says he’ll be in the Rumble, which is presumably bad news for 29 other guys. Or, more likely, bad news for Barrett, who will be one of 13 guys broken in half and eliminated by Roman Reigns.
Prime Time Players d 3MB in a total throwaway of a 3-on-2 handicap match. 3MB demands a rematch, but instead, they get two faux bullfighters and a little bull.
Los Matadores & El Torito d 3MB in a six-man tag, that features more Ryback nonsense post-match.
SKIP THIS SHOW. It hurts my heart to suggest against watching Main Event, but even with all the talent involved, this show sounds like a real miss…unless you’re REALLY into Ryback’s Twitter.
Xavier Woods d Brodus Clay. The Main Event Player is doing the job on WWE’s E-show. And yes, that means I’m scoring NXT above a main-roster show. Find me someone who disagrees, and I’ll show you someone who doesn’t watch either program.
The Prime Time Players d 3MB. This time, 3MB is represented by Drew and Jinder, with the same result as usual.
SKIP THIS SHOW. Complete filler. Nothing to see, nothing to miss.
The New Age Outlaws d Cody Rhodes &Goldust in a non-title match. Billy pinned Cody with a handful of tights. Guess we know who will be the next notch in Cody & Goldy’s tag championship bedpost.
CM Punk calls out the Shield.
Paul Heyman talks trash about Big Show, like he won’t appear. He does, and promises to knock out Brock Lesnar at the Rumble.
Rey Mysterio d Alberto Del Rio. Del Rio hits the Cross Armbreaker after the match, because WWE believes in 50/50 booking that gets no one over.
Naomi d Tamina Snuka. I’d guess AJ-Naomi at the Rumble, but it probably happens next week on Main Event.
Bray Wyatt cuts a promo on pro wrestling’s hottest act, Daniel Bryan. Shut up and take my money.
CM Punk calls out The Shield, AND the New Age Outlaws.
Big E Langston d Fandango. These guys had a nice little match recently for the IC title. Big E needs more matches like this one, to make him look like a dominant, competitive champion. It’s working, and the crowd is reacting.
The Usos d The Real Americans, continuing to look strong after two impressive showings on Raw. Nick talked about how good these guys have gotten, and they’ll continue to show it here. That said, the Real Americans need to be booked with some real consistency, and soon. Cesaro is a true star in the making, and WWE can’t seem to determine how they’d like to pull the trigger. Loss after loss, and Zeb’s increasing goofiness aren’t the answer.
Kane and the Shield attack CM Punk. That’s the short version. The long version is Punk cuts yet another promo, calling The Authority a bunch of cowards. Kane says Punk is in the Rumble, because The Authority want him to main event Mania…then brutally attack him. Whatever.
SKIM THIS SHOW. This was real close to a skip, but I’d feel dirty telling you not to watch Outlaws/Brotherhood, Big E/Fandango, and Usos/Real Americans. That said, the show really suffers this week without Cena, Orton, and a concussed Daniel Bryan. If you watch this one start-to-finish, you’ll probably be disappointed.