There’s a lot of wrestling on TV every week, but only some of it is actually worth watching. That’s where Spoiler Alert comes in: we break down the spoilers of all of WWE’s pre-taped shows to let you know what you should watch, and which segments and full shows you should skim or skip. This week, we wonder why Seth and Goldust weren’t the Main Event of Smackdown!.
MAIN EVENT (spoilers via LordsOfPain.net)
Besides NXT, Main Event may be the best-kept secret in WWE TV. It airs every Wednesday night on Ion television, features lots of solid wrestling, and minimal bullshit. The con is that the main event airs first, so everything that follows feels really irrelevant.
Seth Rollins d Goldust
This match breaks the Main Event norm by going just under five minutes, instead of the typical 15. But it continues the hot Shield vs Rhodes Family feud, complete with interference from Roman Reigns and Cody Rhodes. Rollins is a great athlete and Goldust has been amazing since he’s returned, so you’d be a real fool not to at least DVR this bad boy.
John Cena return video
The crowd booed. You will either take a leak, fast forward, or change the channel.
Real Americans d Prime Time Players
Swagger makes Titus tap out. Cesaro should be getting the wins for the Real Americans, since he’s the teammate with a future. Swagger has had two separate affairs with the World Heavyweight Championship, and both have failed. If he’s going to be involved in the finish, he should be putting the PTPs over.
That said, the PTPs have been coming into their own as babyfaces. Cesaro is taking off. Zeb Coulter is deep-fried racist gold. This match is totally inconsequential, but definitely worth watching.
Cameron & Naomi d Aksana & Alicia Fox
Cameron and Aksana have zero wrestling skill. Naomi is athletic and Alicia is ok, but that’s not nearly enough to warrant this match. Shy of Aksana’s decision to strip naked, I’m not sure why this match was on a television show from any reason, business or otherwise. Avoid at all costs.
Damien Sandow d Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler’s jobbing on the B/C shows now. Oh well. Sandow is a great heel, and Ziggler is bumping machine. Sandow should come out of this looking like a million bucks, and Ziggler won’t suffer for it. Don’t let the worst of the divas division keep you from catching this one.
Watch this show… on DVR
Smackdown! (spoilers from PWInsider.com)
Michael Cole interviews Triple H about Big Show. Daniel Bryan comes out and says “YES!” a few dozen times. You may start watching this show around 8:20. Nothing to see here.
The Usos d Wyatt Family
The Miz attacked Bray, causing Erick Rowan to go after Miz. One more reason to hate The Miz. With the Usos getting ready to challenge for the tag titles, and the Wyatt family on their way up, this is worth watching. You’ll just have to stomach the hard sell for the Miz as a babyface challenger for the dark and mysterious heel. Spoiler alert : he’s not.
AJ Lee (with Tamina) d Nikki Bella (with Brie)
Love AJ. Love that they’ve given her some serious heel muscle with Tamina. Hate that the Bellas are faces because they suck. The booking for this feud sucks. Luckily, they kept this match short. You should make a sandwich during this match. You won’t miss anything.
Los Matadores d 3MB (with Zeb and The Real Americans at ringside)
Yes, this match again. The only way this is worth watching is if Zeb spouts off a bunch of racist one-liners about El Torito. The action is probably fine, but you know where it’s heading. How’s that sandwich?
The Wyatts catch the Miz and chain him up. Hope you oiled up that flabby physique, Miz. You’re in for a rough night.
Ryback & Paul Heyman d “CM Skunk”
Remember when Heyman booked this show, and it was awesome? It’s come to THIS. Seriously. Tyson Kidd and Justin Gabriel are around. Ryback could have squashed them both and looked like a million bucks, while Heyman squealed in the mic about how he’s killing CM Punk. Tag Heyman, Heyman pins them both. Nope. CM Skunk. Skip this.
Alberto Del Rio promo
As much as Nick loves ADR, the crowd doesn’t. Putting him up against John Cena seems to be their last resort in giving him a big heel rub. I think it’s more likely to turn him babyface again with the anti-Cena crowd.
Fandango vs. Great Khali, NC
“Fandango and The Great Khali went to a no contest when their respective ladies started fighting.” That’s the write-up from PWInsider. My analysis? A major waste of Fandango’s gimmick and talent. Oh, and a major waste of time.
Daniel Bryan, Big E Langston and The Rhodes Brothers d Randy Orton and The Shield
Big E interrupts an RKO, allowing D-Bry to hit his flying knee and pin Orton clean. This may end up being the only reason to watch the show this Friday.
This show starts strong, then falls into a giant pit of filler. Luckily, it ends strong. Everyone involved in the main event has been on fire. Don’t miss it.
Watch this show … and skip everything but the opener and the main event.