The JMS Renew Review: WrestleMania XXXIV

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

The Dream:  As part of a cross-promotional effort with HBO, a hologram Andre the Giant enters the ‘Dre and eliminates everyone else before carrying the trophy and himself into the back never to be seen again, like the”Heroes gets remember, but legends never die,”scene from The Sandlot where Benny the Jet meets Babe Ruth..

The Nightmare: In order to appease stockholders by cutting costs in as public a manner as possible, HBO and WWE’s partnership consists instead of them constructing a “Vince McMahon’s monster” out of left over performers from the 80’s to sort of look like Andre. Who is still the most over person in the match.

Having Bray Wyatt come back to help out his new best friend, W’Broken Matt Hardy — as I said to THE Darnell Mitchell, I imagine that Bray is on some “Bucky in Wakanda” shit at the Hardy Compound right now, as they presumably prep the battlefield for Aliester Black’s inevitable arrival after next year’s WrestleMania.

Outside of that — admittedly fucking great — bit, the match itself didn’t have much to say about the people involved, other than how totally dead inside Dolph Ziggler seems. Hopefully this match is made meaningful by a splendid run for Matt, as he foretold in the prophecies:

Go out of your way to watch this for the Bray stuff at the very end, which is beautiful reminiscent of his short-lived work with Roman, but fast forward basically everything else.

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