The Greatest Raw After The Raw After The Raw After WrestleMania

Raw Regurgitated, 4/23

The pre-10-woman tag match promo (which isn’t YouTube for whatever reason) from the Riott Squad was somewhat surprisingly — at least in the case of Morgan/Logan, as Ruby is “straight cash, homey” on the mic — great, with the tear gas metaphor actually fitting, at least in the way Ruby explained it. In fact, this was one of many many good promos throughout the evening. It’s almost like if the writing feels natural and manages to get major character points across with precision and power, they can have people talk all night. Even the biggest botch of the night, from Ember Moon — when she literally just forgot everything she was supposed to say — was salvaged, which was nice to see for her and for the NXT developmental system. New performers no longer feel afraid to mess up, because they’ve done it before and have learned from it.

***

What hasn’t been learned by apparently anyone on the WWE’s writing staff is that when you make someone out to be an evil conniving liar, you don’t have to keep using them saying inappropriately mean and hateful things just to prove they are full of shit.  While I definitely appreciate wanting to get heat on Alexa by having her attack Nia’s weight, there are ways to do it where it’s unclear if she’s lying or if she’s just embellishing a story to make herself feel better. NOW, OBVIOUSLY, that’s not to say I assumed that Nia really did steal food Alexa was going to give to a homeless person ( which, Jesus turn on the light will you?)  because Alexa said she did. But if you want to make Alexa seem like a liar and genuinely bad person, there’s a lot more legwork to be done other than “fat shaming,” which is just the lowest possible hanging fruit.

At least Nia was made to look like a confident, dynamic athlete who had the second best spot of the night behind Braun’s cannonball run. Her dive off the ring apron was well executed and cleared the way for the “surprise” of the night in Ronda. While we have to wait for the blowoff between Alexa and Nia until Backlash — because, well, yeah — it’s nice to see Nia getting a lot of shine against Alexa in the meantime. This needs to end, as soon as possible, with Nia defeating Alexa and moving on to better feuds that are less degrading to her, while still showcasing her stated goals as Women’s Champion to positively affect the lives of people who are treated poorly because they don’t fit our preconceived notions of what’s beautiful (even when they aren’t as objectively stunning as Nia is, of course). Even if you don’t agree with her views on body positivity for whatever sad reason you need to talk to your therapist about, it’s a money character that makes the company look good. It is, as they say in capitalism, a win-win.

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Okay… so I lied. Alexa’s promo about Nia was the second lowest possible hanging fruit. So low hanging a fruit it might as well be a ground vegetable: Ronda’s “surprise” appearance to help a kayfabe-injured Natalya with whom she will inevitably feud. As always, though, you gotta give the people what they want. And they want Ronda flipping and ripping.

Quite frankly, I can’t blame them.

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