#KaneWeek: Juice Make Sugar Recommends …

It’s Day Four of #KaneWeek, a celebration of all things Big Red Monster and the ninth installment in our patent-pending Juice Make Sugar Wrestler of the Week series. We started with A Wrestler You Should Probably Know Better, gave you the finer points of the Dr. Isaac Yankem oeuvre with some Essential Viewing, then marched through Hump Day with a GIF parade. Today, we make our “Amazon.com on steroids” dreams come true with Juice Make Sugar Recommends… before finishing everything off tomorrow with a Difference of Opinion (where JMS HQ erupts in a Hellfire-and-brimstone fueled civil war.)

Album

Metallica

Metallica, Metallica

A brutal reinterpretation of the borderline psychosis that informed their previous work, “The Black Album” — as it is more commonly known — represented a sea change in metal records. Instead of “light and really fast” or “really heavy and slow”, it appeared that the fellows in Metallica realized that you could play a little bit less fast and a little bit less heavy and you’d be able to do both well.

Kane, to an even greater extent than his admittedly more-agile older “brother”,  represented what was possible with a (relatively) high flying big man. And his “dark monster” character managed to maintain much of the mystique of Taker, without dipping into the corniness that help sink the Dungeon of Doom. Oh, hey, Dave Mustaine, I didn’t see you there! I wasn’t talking about you! COME BACK!

Movie

see-no-evil

See No Evil

Not just because it’s a movie he’s in, this mediocre (at best) horror film managed to make its money back (and more), planting the seed for the development of the widely beloved WWE Films studio. So not-entirely-unsuccessful was this movie that Kane recently “missed” a few months filming a sequel.

Kane may have been tapped first in large part because of the relative ease of creating horror movies, but the fact that he was tapped at all tells you all you need to know about the feeling people have towards him in the WWE.

TV Show

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The Office

Kane came in as hot (pardon the pun) as anyone, so while this may not be a perfect analogy — The Office infamously struggled through its first few seasons before being saved by webisodes and iTunes sales — but like the revolutionary show, he helped turn many of the people lucky enough to be involved with his work into stars.

From Ed Helms to John Krasinki to Jenna Fischer to Steve Carrell, the list of insanely successful people involved in the show just in front of the camera — ignoring folks like Mindy Kaling, Greg Daniels and Michael Schur (all of whom have created highly successful shows after the show [or their time on it] ended) — looks a lot like list of people who have worked with Kane, like Daniel Bryan, Stone Cold and Mankind.

Athlete

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Pau Gasol

Arguably as talented as his brother, and from Spain like Jacobs (who was born on a military base in Madrid), and the most underrated big man of all time, Gasol can work with anybody, providing a steady hand for his team. Not the best defensive player in history, but definitely wrongfully maligned in that respect. A surefire first ballot hall of famer to anyone who actually follows what’s required for enshrinement, but a surprise to most who only think that the Kobes/Undertakers of the world matter.

Actor

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Colin Farrell

Like Kane, came out hot as all get-out, becoming an “main event” celebrity nearly overnight, before a series of less successful project (see: S.W.A.T.) lead people to view Farrell as a fallen star even when he was working on well-received cult classics like In Bruges and integral parts in wildly successful works like Horrible Bosses.

Also, both have played major roles in WWE films.

Book

Revolution

The Revolution: A Manifesto, by Ron Paul

A rather obvious one. Outside of setting things on fire with his hands, Kane is perhaps best know for his libertarian political beliefs, and the possibly that he may run for office following his time in the ring. He is, along with Vince Vaughn, one of the most famous libertarians in the country. Whether or not that’s something to be proud of is for you, the reader to decide.

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2 Comments

  1. […] with a GIF Parade, then, we’ll make our Amazon.com-on-steroids dreams come true with “Juice Make Sugar Recommends…” on Thursday. We’ll finish everything off on Friday with a Difference of […]

  2. […] with a GIF parade. Yesterday, we made our “Amazon.com on steroids” dreams come true with “Juice Make Sugar Recommends…“ and gave you that Buzzfeedy-goodness with a 10 Best List. Today we finish everything off  with […]

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