Juice Make Sugar’s Spoiler Alert: 4/22 – 4/25

MAIN EVENT
Intercontinental champion Big E beat Alberto Del Rio in a non-title match.
It bears repeating, but Big E. beating del Rio is a far bigger deal than people recognize. Big E. beating del Rio was like his version of getting the Boulder Badge in Pewter City from Brock  in Pokemon Red: if Big E. were to go back and face him after he evolved into Bulbasaur — which is clearly the best starter Pokemon (and no, this isn’t a debate) — he’d easily beat him, but Big E. hasn’t leveled up to the point where beating del Rio is a sure thing. Now, if only Big E.’s booking gets its shit together before he has to face Team Rocket Bad News Barrett. (Thanks to Andrew Pinzon for the quick Pokemon refresher)

Bad News Barrett cut a promo on Big E.
These are the type of things that are required if what needs to happen is going to happen: Bad News must either be, or at least seem to be, a major challenger for Big E.’s title. While a lot of wrestling storylines sit on exposed rails, those lower on the card have a tendency to be muddied by the lack of a clear hierarchy as you move farther and farther away from the (pardon the pun) main event. With two performers that actually care some significance in the WWE hierarchy, at least based on backstage rumors and the way they are spoken about on TV, feuds like this can get you much closer to exactly what the WWE perceives the value of a specific performer to be.

Hornswoggle (with 3MB) beat El Torito (with Los Matadores).
People like to talk about Jushin “Thunder” Liger and the Great Muta as perhaps the greatest match in the history of our sport. Sure, most of them are much smarter and way better writers than the rest of us, but that doesn’t mean they are also right. Though, to be fair to Dave, there’s no way he could have foresee the majesty of the El Torito’s moonsault during this match, or the engaging and magical story being told in the ring. Mark our words: people will be talking about the Hornswoggle-El Torito feud for years to come.

Sheamus beat Titus O’Neil.
The incredibly detailed synopsis for this match has it being your typical Sheamus vs. Hoss match, which is to say AWESOME if also eminently predictable. What made Bad News Barrett’s win over him on Raw feel like a big deal on top of a great match was how unexpected such a clean win was. This match … lacks that uncertainty.

Ryback (with Curtis Axel) beat Jimmy Uso (with brother Jey)
Strong contenders build strong champions. It’s not rocket surgery, and You know and I know that you are half the man I am, and I have half the brain THAT YOU DO! Sorry, got stuck in Sycho Sid Cycle. Where was I? Oh right, this match. As we are enormous fans of THE RYBA(XEL)CK here, so anything where the Big Guy looks good is good in our book.

You SHOULD WATCH this show

There was enough action on this show to make up them not giving El Torito and Hornswoggle enough time to really explore the studio space.

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