Juice Make Sugar’s Crystal Ball: The 2015 Royal Rumble

Angry Andy’s Assumptions:

Damien Mizdow and The Miz v. The New Day, WWE Tag Team Championship Match

License to print money.  Period.

Rusev v. Ryback, United States Championship Match

HOSSFIGHT for the US title.  Ryback becomes the first man to pin Rusev, who then moves into the IC title picture, and toward the main event scene. (Editor’s Note: Andy gets bonus points for sending this before the Rusev-Ryback segment.)

Nikki Bella v. Natalya, Divas Title Match

For all the TV wins a heatless Nattie has been getting, she’s likely getting the next shot.  We continue this incredibly awkward and illogical build toward Nikki vs. Brie at Wrestlemania.

John Cena v. Brock Lesnar

Besides the Rumble match itself, this is the one match that’s an absolute lock for the Rumble.  It’s also pretty much a lock that Cena will not win, and that his loss will not be clean.  Whoever costs him the title will be his opponent at Wrestlemania.  If Cena wins, it’s because STING evened the odds.

The Royal Rumble match

Hey, remember the guy who cut that AMAZING promo at TLC?  Yeah, he’s about to win a one-way ticket to the Wrestlemania main event. Believe that. Also, Ziggler enters at number 1, and makes it to the final four, along with Reigns, Orton, and Rollins. Tyler Breeze appears, doing his selfie gimmick to the ring, but doesn’t last long. RVD returns, because Philadelphia. Erick Rowan makes a ton of eliminations, but doesn’t get close to winning.

Join the Kayfabemetrics Institute on Patreon!