Fantasy Booking: WrestleMania XXXIV

Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn

The Dream: For Shane McMahon to immediately turn on Daniel Bryan, who brings out Shawn Michaels and, to some disappointment from the crowd, Kane, to work a full six-man tag with five competent performers and a labrador retriever in basketball sneakers.

The Nightmare: Shane McMahon calls the match cold in the ring, and refuses to tag in Daniel Bryan until, whilst doing the Shane’O’Mac Shuffle, he ruptures both Achilles and accidentally knocks out Daniel Bryan in the process of falling down.

The Hope: The continued health of Daniel Bryan and a, for fuck’s sake, a goddamned heel turn. SOMEONE JUST TURN ON SOMEONE ELSE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

The Reality: Someone turns on someone, something else happens and the ones you wanted to win didn’t. Probably.  Shane’s unpredictably terrible while also uniformly bad at acting and way past his prime as a performer, so this is mostly just a matter of making sure he stays out of the way until it’s time to dive through something and not get up.

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