WWE Championship Match
AJ Styles (C) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
The Dream: That this manages to perfectly mix the best parts of AJ’s match with Brock Lesnar and Shinsuke’s match with Sami Zayn, while at no point feeling like either of them is working a match with Shane McMahon. Which is to say that everything stays grounded and realistic, allowing whatever dick-related absurdity really stand out relative to the match, not as a slightly elevated moment in an otherwise off-the-wall shitshow.
The Nightmare: Big Cass replaces AJ and Shinsuke, working a match with a broom he constantly berates for not being as tall as him.
The Hope: A match that people don’t complain about after, mostly.
The Reality: Although their two matches have both “worked,” they certainly haven’t lived up to the hype that most of us thought was warranted for this program. Though, while your mileage may vary on how much you like dick punches, both previous matches have seemed to be victim of circumstance moreso than deficient in any real way. So, the reality — pardon the pun — is that we should expect something better than what they’ve done before but shouldn’t take it as an indictment of them if it doesn’t blow our socks off the way we always imagined it would. And that it will probably end with AJ still champion, waiting to meet Samoa Joe regardless of the results for the last match on the card.