Bryan’s Still Got It

If it took 2 years of Randy Orton being the meh-iest of the meh as a face just to establish a bunch of spots that can be countered now that he’s a heel, we have to accept it.

The most surprising part of this match isn’t that Goldust looks as good as he does, but that he’s actually bigger and almost as athletic as Randy Orton. Dustin Rhodes never being a World’s Champion is like Barry Bonds never winning a title. It was at least partially his fault, but it’s still a travesty and failure on a human level.

When will wrestlers learn that turning your back on Randy ALWAYS ends with an RKO? It’s like punching Hulk Hogan in the face after he’s started shaking, or wrestling Batista after he’s had sex with Melina. It’s not going to end well for you.

***

People just want you to go straight to the RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROBBBBB! VAN! DAM! part, Ricardo.

This match is the perfect example of the danger of crowds getting too hot. They want to like this match, but are so wound up that they keep fighting each others chants and can’t really get anything going. That and Ryback/RVD have as much chemistry as Rusty Venture and Dr. Mrs. The Monarch.

***

She may only have two speeds — strong, independent woman and strong, independent major league b-word — but Stephanie has been doing yeoman’s work as the worst parts of her father’s disinterest in people and the best parts of his false sense of sincerity during this program.

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