It’s the Final Day of #CesaroWeek, a celebration of all things Very European/Real American and the second installment of our patent-pending Juice Make Sugar Wrestler of the Week series. We started off with A Wrestler You Should Probably Know Better, before giving you the finer points of the Claudio Castagnoli oeuvre with some Essential Viewing. Wednesday, we mixed it up, starting off with a special appearance by a Relatively Happy Andy before marching through the end of Hump Day with an GIF parade. Yesterday, we made our Amazon.com-on-steroids dreams come true with “Juice Make Sugar Recommends…“. Today, we finish everything off with a Difference of Opinion (where JMS HQ erupts in a Swiss Miss-fueled civil war.)
This conversation, like all Difference of Opinions, was filmed in front of a live studio audience as we edited Dave’s Essential Viewing piece. Any references that seem like they are referencing nothing are referencing that piece.
Nick: What’s good, blood?
Dave: You know. Doin that dirt. This one is a little different than ones I’ve done in the past because he’s still a super active guy.
Nick: Are you building an argument for how he’s developed his style and why it works better than anyone else’s?
David: It’s about him developing the style. And I won’t say “better”, but I’m basically saying he’s “most likely to succeed” on any indy guy ever.
Nick: So, Antonio Cesaro nee Claudio Castagnoli nee Mysterious Ice Cream is in the best.
David: I think it might have even been “Very Mysterious Ice Cream”, which is the most Chikara thing ever. Also, I like “nee”. It’s like he married the WWE.
Nick: It feels like they’ve been watching Chikara in stamford because the product is starting to converge for the WWE with a comic book mythology. What happens when the WWE Universe eventually needs to be be reset like DC Comics. Will Hogan return reimagined: built like Hulk, but with a bodysuit like Giant Gonzalez?
David: Hahahahaha. Oh my god,yes. He will be a semi-cyborg like Jak9 in Tekken.
Nick: Well, demographically they’ll be the majority.
David: But, in terms of “Chikara Guys” he’s head and shoulders above everybody.
Nick: So, considering he has all the things that makes the WWE pee themselves, do you think that his slow upbringing is a result of him not being from America?
David: Yeah. His career IS the Immigrant experience. He came over, was very talented, and had to do shit work for awhile. But through motivation and undeniable talent he actually worked his way to the top in a very exclusive business in a foreign country.
Nick: Is he going to be the best non-North American ever?
Dave: I dunno. I mean, Ludvig Borga and all.
Nick: He is older, but only like 32 and talent wise.
Dave: He’s YOUNG for a wrestler.
Nick: Jericho didn’t become the best in the world until he was in his late 30s.
Dave: The Borga thing was a sick, sick joke. His ceiling is eclipsing Bulldog, who’s far and away the biggest European wrestler in US history. Nobody’s really a true main eventer before 35 anymore or are going to be “the face”. Orton was the last guy to get the Lesnar push. Ziggler is there… but he’s kind of a jobber amongst true main eventers. BIG money is 35-40 now.
Nick: So, best European wrestler. What about best indy wrestler?
Dave: Yeah. I think his ceiling would be best European wrestler in the US because I don’t know shit about World of Sport or the CWA, so I can’t say best European wrestler. I think Bryan is the best indy wrestler. Because even though he’s gotten over so big, there’s still something undeniably indy about him. Ditto Punk.
Dave: Part of what I’m trying to say with all this is that Cesaro can actually transcend that he ever did that stuff and become a full-on Triple H style WWE main eventer. Like, look at the way he works: the most Triple H matches I’ve seen this side of Triple H.
Nick: Is a fair comparison LeBron James?
Dave: Well, I dunno. Because I don’t think anybody would say he’s the greatest of all time. (or GOAT as the MMA kids say, which I hate)
Nick: From purely a physical standpoint, though. It feels like he plays the ultimate version of a specific type of already valuable commodity.
Dave: I mean, I’m assuming he’s not in the upper strata of guys who can get around the wellness policy and he has one of the best looks in the company. Like, genetically, he is so gifted it’s ridiculous.
Nick: But he still hasn’t been able to get really over.
Dave: Well, look at his gimmick for god’s sake. If it was “wrestler,” he’d be a super over babyface. If it was “beach bully” he’d be a super over heel.
Nick: Aren’t we worried he’s going to suffer “can’t speak English with an American accent”-itis? Doesn’t he need a mouthpiece?
Dave: I think he’s a guy who needs to be booked in a less complicated manner. Swagger NEEDS Dutch. Cesaro doesn’t at all. But I see why they do this to put him in a holding pattern.
Nick: You don’t think they’d have trouble turning him into someone the fans could see a guy who belongs considering he lose about 10 times more than he should?
Dave: He would be VERY easy to turn into a main event character. But he doesn’t work so well as a midcarder because he’s just so inherently main event. It’s like if WWE brought in A.J. Styles and made him Evan Bourne’s older brother.
Nick: That’d probably be better than how he is booked in TNA, though, right?
Dave: [No comment]