Andy Will Be Angry If…: Royal Rumble 2015 Edition – Page 6

The Royal Rumble Match

I’ve never been more up-in-the-air about how a Rumble will end. For months, it has appeared that Roman Reigns would win this, go on to Wrestlemania, beat Brock Lesnar, and become WWE Champion. Now? I’m not so sure.

Assuming Brock Lesnar stays heel and retains, we could just as easily see Daniel Bryan win and go on for the ultimate David vs. Goliath Wrestlemania title match. Dolph could win, too, capitalizing on his recent momentum and “top star” billing. Same for Ryback. Same for a returning babyface Randy Orton.

If Rollins leaves Royal Rumble with the title, it almost has to be Roman Reigns who wins the Rumble. The guy who got stabbed in the back, chasing the guy who did it and trying to take his title? It’s wrestling 101.. It’s Hulk Hogan. It’s the match that all the kids would go nuts over, even if it might end up feeling really lackluster for the adult crowd.

If Cena wins, you need a strong heel victory in the Rumble match. Rusev, your monster foreign heel United States Champion, makes the most sense to me. Once again, it’s Hulk Hogan classic booking 101. Cena tries to stop the monster from taking over the company and the world via the WWE Championship, while that foreign power sets its sights on the top star in the wrestling world. Champion vs. Champion. US vs. Russia. Sheamus would work here, too…if he can get his heat back as a heel. Bray Wyatt would be good, but we’ve seen that feud already. Bad News Barrett would also work, if WWE stopped jobbing him out on TV all the time. We haven’t seen WWE Champion vs. IC Champion at Mania since…Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior. Who would have thought I’d refer to Hogan so many times in my best case scenarios for WWE booking in 2015?

I’m predicting a Lesnar win in the title match, so I’m going with my gut here, and predicting a Daniel Bryan win here.

I’m predicting a strong performance by Roman Reigns, who eliminates a whole bunch of dudes, only to be eliminated by a strong heel for a feud going into Wrestlemania. It’s either Sheamus or Bray Wyatt.

I’m predicting Luke Harper makes the most eliminations this year. It would make him look like the boss he is, and give the commentators something to talk about for a while (besides his fucking tank top) while not forcing him into a title scene.

I’m predicting Dolph Ziggler enters in the top 4, and makes it to the final 4.

I’m predicitng Bo Dallas returns and gives Santino Marella a run for his money in the “fastest elimination” category.

I’m predicting a couple of ECW-related not-so-surprise entrants, since the show IS in Philadelphia. Dudleys and RVD have been rumored. Tommy Dreamer, The Sandman, Sabu and Justin Credible have not… but I wouldn’t be shocked to see one of them show up. Shane Douglas pitches a surprise appearance and long-awaited reunion with fellow Dynamic Dude Johnny Ace. Triple H returns his text with a “LOL who is this?”

I’ll be angry if: WWE intentionally defies logic for the sake of a surprise. A lot of fans would be happy, and logically satisfied, to see Bryan, Reigns, or Ziggler win. Giving us someone like Orton or Sheamus may be legitimate, but it’d also be the same old, same old, totally boring shit we’ve already seen before. If last year’s mania taught us anything, it’s that a 2-match card can be the best show ever, if it gives the crowd what they want.

I’ll keep my cool if: ANY of my proposed outcomes listed above come to fruition, as long as they make sense in the build to Wrestlemania. Seriously, any of them. Sheamus turns heel and battles Cena or Lesnar? Cool. Bryan or Ziggler win, and go on to battle the beast? Awesome. Reigns wins and goes on to battle Seth Rollins? Sweet. A monster heel takes it and goes on to fight Cena? Makes sense to me.

But, seriously. Let’s go Bryan.

@AndyMillerJMS