Andy Will Be Angry If…: Elimination Chamber Edition

It’s Elimination Chamber Sunday, which means it’s time for Andy to work out his feelings and expectations about tonight’s show.  And, because we love you, we already gave you a PPV Predictions episode of Headlock’d fresh from the oven this morning, still have Nick preparing to ask “What’s the Worst That Could Happen and are perfectly calibrating the number of shots and sips with the Official Juice Make Sugar PPV drinking game. All of this (for free!) before we drop our world famous Bang for Your Buck PPV review in your lap on Monday morning.

To make sure you don’t miss anything, follow us (or Andy) on Twitter and like us on Facebook. Now that we’ve gotten the shameless plugs out of the way, let’s figure out what might make Andy Angry tonight in Minneapolis:

Cody Rhodes & Goldust vs. Ryback & Curtis Axel (Kickoff Match)

Second straight pay-per-view where the Rhodes boys are on the pre-show, and not the main card.  I’m starting to wonder if someone’s leg is about to be kicked out of his leg…

I’ll be angry if this match is presented like a one-off and never acknowledged again.  Clean or dirty wins don’t count here.  It’s all about what happens in the story.  If you’re going to advertise this for the kickoff, you’d better make it count.

I’ll keep my cool if one of three things happen:

  1. Cody & Goldust come so close and fail, leading to a break-up angle on the main show.
  2. Ryback & Axel win clean, and in beating the last tag team champions, declare themselves #1 contenders.
  3. Goldust & Cody split outright.

Intercontinental Champion Big E vs. Jack Swagger

The Intercontinental title finds its way back to pay-per-view relevance.  This match is very important for both men.  Langston needs to looks like a strong champion, and to stay relevant in a wrestling landscape with one world champion.  Jack Swagger needs to remind the crowd that he’s a phenomenal wrestler, capable of having exciting matches and worthy of calling himself a former World Heavyweight Champion.

I’ll be angry if either man is too dominant here.  Big E. needs to be protected, but not at the expense of burying Swagger.

I’ll keep my cool if the former Mr. Langston wins clean, with the Big Ending.  The announcers put him over as a strong, fighting champion – and give Swagger credit as game competition.  The announcers lay the seeds for rematches, whether they’re on TV or Wrestlemania.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil

This one’s tricky.  Both of these guys are talented, with a lot of upside.  Titus is an athlete, with exceptional strength, charisma, and an easy to follow “catchphrase.”  Darren has a look, is a decent enough wrestler, and has mainstream appeal after coming out as gay.

The problem here is that when you split a midcard tag team, what often happens is one guy does well (if you’re lucky) and the other flounders.  So if WWE has long-term plans for these two dudes, they need to tread carefully, and make sure they’ve got plans for both in this match, and after it.

I’ll be angry if either guy comes out of this match looking stupid, or untalented.  It would totally defeat the purpose of killing the team, if you immediately kill these guys as singles stars, too.

I’ll keep my cool if someone wins clean, and both guys move on to something good.  Titus keeps talking about being a champion. It would only make sense post-match for him to issue a challenge for the US or IC titles.  Oh, and I could totally see Darren Young as a suitable midcard challenger for one Dean Ambrose.

Batista vs. Alberto Del Rio

Batista needs to have a good match.  He also needs to rally the crowd behind him before Wrestlemania.  So naturally, it comes down to whether or not ADR can help Big Dave shake off a few years of ring rust.

I’ll be angry if the crowd craps on this match. Much like the rumble, we already know how this one is going to end.  But if the crowd decides to hijack the match with absurd chants, Batista’s check and card placement will NOT change.  WWE will punish ADR, and your complaints will be for naught.

I’ll keep my cool if these guys have a decent 15 minute match, with minimal botches and the right crowd heat.  Nobody gets hurt.

WWE Tag Team Champions The New Age Outlaws vs. The Usos

It looks like the Usos are finally set to win the tag team titles.  They deserve it.  They’ve worked really hard for it, and the crowd has responded well.

I’ll be angry if the Outlaws win clean.  The Usos have looked strong going into this one, so they don’t necessary need to win this time… but they shouldn’t lose clean.  The Outlaws exist right now to serve as transitional tag champs, and to get the next guys over.  Beating them clean would do anything but.

I’ll keep my cool if The Usos win clean.  I think I may like it better if they slip on a banana peel, and the Outlaws hang onto the titles until Mania.  Then again, I’d love to see Usos/Wyatts, Usos/Real Americans, or the Usos taking on a team representing the Authority, or even NXT. We’ll see.

The Shield vs. The Wyatt Family

I’m so excited for this match.  The Shield has been positioned as faces in this match, with the seeds planted for an eventual split.  There are so many ways this match can go, that I honestly have no idea what to expect.  That’s what makes it so exciting.

I’ll be angry if either group comes out looking stupid.  Bray looks incapable before moving on to John Cena. The Shield looks like anything other than the destructive force they’ve been since they debuted.

I’ll keep my cool if this match is half as good as I think it’s going to be.  The Wyatts stick around to creatively screw Cena out of a Chamber win, and keep their heat.

WWEWHC Elimination Chamber Match

Sheamus vs. Christian vs. John Cena vs. Cesaro vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton (C)

So, the way Orton’s been booked lately, he almost has to win.  You know the crowd is going to lose its mind (in the worst possible way) if Daniel Bryan loses early.

I’ll be angry if D-Bry is one of the first eliminated.  He doesn’t need to win, but he needs to a) be booked like a strong underdog and b) be positioned in a way that the crowd doesn’t have time to hijack the match.

I’ll keep my cool if everyone gets a chance to shine. Cesaro continues to look like a future WWE World Heavyweight Champion.  We get a clear idea of where D-Bry is heading for Mania. The Wyatts come up with a creative way to screw Cena.  EVERYONE kills Christian.



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