Andy Will Be Angry If…: Royal Rumble 2015 Edition

It’s one of the most exciting shows of the year…but up until about 2 weeks ago, I wasn’t excited at all.

We all “knew” that Roman Reigns was going to win the Rumble, go on to beat Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania, and become WWE Champion.  “Knowing” what was going to happen sucked a lot of the smart mark fun out of the kickoff to Wrestlemania season.

Considering I can see my Wrestlemania ticket from where I sit on my couch, you can understand why this is a problem for me.

Then Daniel Bryan returned to Raw, teased his retirement, and snuck a big ol’ curveball into the creative strikezone.  The guy who never really lost the title is coming back, resuming his underdog story, and fighting to win back the WWE Championship.

Added to the uncertainty of the Rumble finish, is the uncertainty over the WWE Championship match.  It’s well within the realm of reason that John Cena or Seth Rollins could walk out of the Royal Rumble PPV with the WWE Championship, making about  a dozen Rumble outcomes make sense.

I don’t know what’s going to happen, and that’s so exciting and refreshing to me. I’ll be on the edge of my seat for the Rumble itself, and the 8 weeks or so until WrestleMania.

So let’s get to the action, shall we?

New Day Kidd Cesaro Rose

Kickoff Match

The New Day vs. Tyson Kidd, Adam Rose & Cesaro

So, I’m really digging The New Day, and the things they’ve very subtly teased for the future.  I love that Kidd and Cesaro are finally finding a tidbit of real success as a tag team, and think could be what pushes them to the next level (even though, you know, Cesaro was kinda already there at Wrestlemania 30.)  And I love the slow transformation of Adam Rose, from a guy obsessed with another guy in a bunny costume, to a legitimately dark heel who could F you…if he wasn’t in the mood to party.

But I don’t understand what they’re all doing together.

I get it, the New Day is a 3-man gang.  They need other 3-man crews to go up against.  Slapping one together out of an already thrown-together tag team and a random midcarder, who has been seen as little more than a failed-babyface-turned-jobber-turned-joke… that isn’t a great start.

The most logical ending to this match is a decisive win for The New Day. They’re a legitimate stable, with three separate but effective threats.  Their opponents are just three dudes (two of which the Internet Wrestling World happens to love.)  I’d rather see Cesaro and Kidd with their hands raised, and pushed toward a tag team title shot, but I don’t see it happening just yet.  So…

I’ll be angry if: The thrown-together team wins, just for the sake of throwing off the fans.  Adam Rose scores a pin on ANYONE.  Kidd and Cesaro look like chumps in defeat.

I’ll keep my cool if: Everyone gets to show off a bit, since it’s the preshow, and WWE doesn’t really care about it anyway.  The New Day win with a cool double or triple team move, preferably on Adam Rose.  Post-match, Cesaro and Kidd murder Adam Rose, and cut a follow-up promo about how they don’t need anyone else (except Natalya) to succeed, and will soon be WWE Tag Team champions.  Adam Rose goes darker, kills off his Rosebuds like Dandy did the freaks in the American Horror Story season finale, and gets a legitimate midcard feud with the returning, newly babyface Bo Dallas.