Andy’s Angry: Destination Graveyard (or The Never-ending Death of Impact Wrestling)

TNA is dead.  We all know it and we’ve all accepted it…it’s just that no one has had the decency to actually let TNA know it’s over.

Rumor has it that this week will be the last episode of Impact Wrestling on Spike TV, and that Spike is officially getting out of the professional wrestling business.  You can’t blame them.  TNA has been a giant money pit for them, just as it was continues to be for Panda Energy.  Spike will never make back in ad dollars what it spent in overpriced tapings and has-been talent contracts.  At least the litany of has-been contracts it’s paying for Bellator will generate ad dollars.  That old Cops episode probably does a quarter of the ratings of an Impact episode, and earns double the revenue.

Don’t let the door hit you on your way out, Dixie.

But all hope isn’t gone just yet for Impact’s loyal-but-non-paying audience.  TNA is expected to announce a deal with Destination America.

Wait, who the hell is Destination America?

Apparently, DA is a channel in the Discovery network, that you’ve likely never watched on purpose.  Its hit shows include, but are not limited to, GHOST STALKERS, RAILROAD ALASKA, AMISH HAUNTING, and MONSTERS UNDERGROUND.

Please pull the plug. Please?

Here’s the thing about Destination America: it’s cheap as hell.  Destination America isn’t going to spend the big bucks for a 2-hour Impact that Spike was willing to pay.

That’s going to mean changes.  BIG changes.

First off, say goodbye to big-name WWE stars, and stars of the past. That WWE release you were hoping to see land in the IMPACT ZONE with a new name, and a world title reign?  Don’t bank on it.

Secondly, those indy nobodies that TNA turned into national stars? (Note, I’m being really generous with that one—guys like Samoa Joe were stars before they hit TNA, they just made a lot more money there.)  They’re going to get two options—pay cut, or unconditional release.  We already saw it with guys like AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Frankie Kazarian, Chris Sabin and others.  If TNA couldn’t find it in the budget to keep the backbones of the company… everyone is on notice. Everyone is in trouble.

Third, and perhaps most importantly, there’s no more marking out for ourselves, and pretending we’re the best fucking thing ever.  No more crazy-expensive venues, that cost more than you can make on a taping.  No more empty-venue house shows, just for the sake of saying you run house shows.  No more pretending Dixie Carter is a TV star.

No more “playing” professional wrestling.  You’re (sort of) in the wrestling business, and it’s time to either put up, or go belly up.  Start by putting on a watchable wrestling show, that makes people not only want to catch the next episode, but also come see your show when it goes on tour.  Present talented wrestlers with relatable personalities, who make fans want to spend money on cool merchandise.

It’s possible, but it’s probably not going to happen.  Dixie still wants to be a TV star, and she still thinks this is something she should dump money into.  Nothing’s going to change.  It’s over.

So kids, go say goodbye to TNA.  Try not to hit any of the wires, but squeeze tight, and enjoy it.  There’s a good chance it’ll be gone soon.

@AndyMillerJMS