I’m not the type of guy to say I told you so.
Good to see that “The Authority” read last week’s column, and decided on the path of “Schmidt from New Girl if he were a husband-wife wrestling villains” instead of “wishy washy heels” that gets over like a lead fart balloon.
***WARNING YOU ARE NOW ENTERING A WRESTLING NERD DISCUSSiON ZONE*** PLEASE KEEP HANDS AND FEET INSIDE OF KAYFABE *** While there’s probably something to be said about how not that great Daniel Bryan is on the mic, the fact that he can get an entire promo across through the power of “YES!” makes it essentially a moot point. It’s the same type of soundboard fandom that helped propel the Attitude Era to where it went: fans want to feel like they are a part of something, and the #YesMovement is pretty much the definition of being a part of something.
It’s also perfect for the meta-“Reality Era”, with the subtle allegories with to “protecting” Daniel Bryan because it allows smart marks to feel like they are in “on the joke” and also translates to people who just watch without wondering about things like heat, burying and pushing.
This is a subtle part of what’s missed about Steve Austin’s run at the top of the world. When people talk about how Bryan is over like Stone Cold, I think they fail to realize it’s not a matter of quantity, but the very specific quality of his overness. The Rock was just as over as Stone Cold, but he wasn’t over in nearly the same way. Even his (unironic) People’s Champion run didn’t have the cultural (both in and outside of wrestling) cache that Austin’s did. The Rock is a famous actor because he’s people bought into Dwayne Johnson. People liked Steve Austin, but they bought into the “Stone Cold” character and its feud with the “Mr. McMahon” character. There may be stars as big as Daniel Bryan from the WWE Network era — Roman Reigns seems like he has an outside chance at “Poor Man’s Rock” — but there will likely not be a more important one. ***WARNING YOU ARE NOW EXITING A WRESTLING NERD DISCUSSiON ZONE*** PLEASE ENJOY YOUR COMPLIMENTARY MILKSHAKE ON THE WAY OUT ***
It’s still uncomfortable that Zeb is this much of an actual xenophobe — a little more tongue in cheek would go a long way — but the Road Warriors meet Varsity Club vibe of The Real Americans has potential to be a real force in the tag team division for a lot longer than people may realize.
Is Xavier Woods hurt? Or do they already realize he’s the worst parts of RVD, R. Truth and Zach Ryder in the ring and are going to let him build up on house shows before making him work a match again?
At least Batista wasn’t winded after making his way to the ring this time. They were going to have to start using the moving ring from WrestleMania III if that kept happening.
Even in the ring with Randy Orton and Batista — who are both at least slightly bigger than him — Brock Lesnar looks a grizzly bear mated with a Norse god.
The joke that the “Battle of Cleveland” should have been called the “Toilet Bowl” is obvious and cheap, but it doesn’t make it any less true.
The Usos feel like an unique tag team in the history of the WWE. They feel like the Sklar Brothers, but wrestlers and not insufferable. Rybaxel, on the other hands, are like if Andrew Dice Clay and Gallagher went on tour together in 2014.
If there’s one thing to love about Alberto del Rio, it’s how unintentionally funny his “shoot” reactions to things he doesn’t like are. His reaction to OG Sin Cara quitting mid-match because he hurt “his wittle fingees” is an all-time classic, and him LOSING HIS SHIT on JBL for acknowledging the crowd chanting his name, along with JBL’s sheepish reaction is almost worth rewarding the crowd for being total dickbags. Almost.
If it turns out that this is the Rhodes Boys final rematch for the title, it will disappointing. Not because they don’t win, but because they didn’t definitively lose or have anything happen. It will seem convoluted to have them come back with a chance for the title, if only because the stakes will feel artificially heightened, which isn’t going to work for a feud with such actual substance.
This 10-Diva Tag Match needed about 1000% more Summer Rae.
While there is a sizable portion of the audience that may think that Seth Rollins lacks what it take to be a major star, the E has at the very least made a concerted attempt to position him in a way that he will not get lost in the shuffle following the inevitable break up of the band over the next few months.
Knowing that [SPOILER ALERT] Sheamus and Daniel Bryan [/SPOLER ALERT] are pencilled in for a match at Mania, this trio of DB/Cena/Sheamus is mildly unsettling. Less unsettling: the potential for a separate chamber involving the Shield and the Wyatt Family, or at the very least, a possible potential feud. No need to get any hopes up just yet, but it definitely seems like a logical direction for the “YOU IDIOTS SCREWED US OUT OF A CHANCE AT THE ELIMINATION CHAMBER” angle they appear to be going with.
If Brock Lesnar is the fifth entrant into the Elimination Chamber — with Cena/Sheamus/DB and Orton as the first four — it’s hard to fathom who would be a big enough star to fill in that sixth pod, but I have a suggestion: a Man Called Sting. As in the singer, not the wrestler, as there’s an expectation that performers should be willing to do their jobs without their shirts . The only thing Steve Borden should be wrestling with these days is whether to wear Surfer Sting, Crow Sting or Joker Sting face paint for his Hall of Fame speech.