Angry Andy Spoils Christmas: Watch, Skim or Skip (12/23-12/27)

RAW IS CHRISTMAS

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(spoilers via Wrestlezone.com)

The Authority come to ringside, giving Santa hats to fans.  They announce a special Christmas present for Randy Orton. He gets a night off.

Team Total Divas d The Other Divas in a 12-diva “Jingle Bells” match  Yeah.  Nattie makes Aksana tap, so I guess she’s still doing alright when it comes time to spin the Wheel of Diva Pushes.  Kaitlyn should take notes.

Sin Cara d Curtis Axel  The push of Sin Hunicara continues.  These guys can both go, and if given any time whatsoever, have no excuse not to have a good match.

The Wyatt Family d Daniel Bryan & The Rhodes Brothers  This program has been red-hot and full of great matches.  This should be no different.

The Great Khali & Santino d 3MB, Xavier Woods & R-Truth and the Funkadactyls in a singing contest  The right team won, I guess.  I hate stuff like this, but it has its place on shows aimed towards kids, and holiday specials.  I’ll allow it, but I don’t promise I’ll like it.

Fandango d Dolph Ziggler in a “Present on a Pole” match, to become #1 Contender for the Intercontinental title  Fandango continues to rebuild the momentum he lost 8 months ago, becoming a great feeder-opponent for Big E. Langston in the process.  Dolph begins to wonder if Kurt Angle and Austin Aries want some new competition.

The Usos d The Prime Time Players  No word on who worked as faces/heels here.  Hopefully it’s a competitive matchup, and the announcers are smart enough to put over both teams as credible challengers for the next tag team champions, Luke Harper and Erick Rowan.

Mark Henry d Damien Sandow to save Christmas No, really.  Mark Henry is good Santa, and apparently Sandow has embraced the spirit of Balls Mahoney’s first WWF run.

Los Matadores d The Real Americans in what may be the worst booking decision ever made.  The Real Americans are the real deal.  Los Matadores are a total flop.  This blows my mind.

Ryback d Kofi Kingston, just like everyone else has.

The Shield NC CM Punk, John Cena & Big E Langston  Huge brawl, and Big E gets to mix it up in the main event.

SKIM this show.  There is some super questionable booking on this show, plus a lot of Christmas gimmicks.  If you’re into that, this is the show for you.  If not, the handful of decent-to-good matches may not be worth 3 hours of your time.

MAIN EVENT

… returns January 8th  Merry Christmas & Happy New Year from Ion Television.

SUPERSTARS

(spoilers via ProWrestling.com)

Natalya d Aksana  Aksana is gorgeous, but that doesn’t make her anything close to “good.”  This match deserves no more than 5 minutes, including entrances. Anything more is punishment.

Antonio Cesaro d Dolph Ziggler. Reports are this match is “way too good for Superstars.” Based on the talent involved, I’d believe it.

SKIM this show.  The Divas match promises next to nothing (unless you’re REALLY into one of the girls involved), but Cesaro-Ziggler is a smart-mark’s dream come true.

SMACKDOWN

(spoilers via Wrestlezone.com)

John Cena wants a shot at the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.  Randy Orton says “LOL nope!”  Mark Henry and Big E. Langston save Cena from a Shield beatdown.  Kane comes out and says screw Teddy Long, we’re booking a series of singles matches, playa.

The Wyatt Family d The Usos  Sister Abigail takes out an Uso after the match.

Randy Orton & Dolph Ziggler  find each other backstage, and determine that since one is a Capulet and one is a Montague, they must fight to the death.

Antonio Cesaro d Cody Rhodes, continuing to build The Real Americans as challengers for a tag title shot.  Because nothing says “we deserve a tag title shot” like a clean loss to Los Matadores.

Prime Time Players b Ryback & Curtis Axel  These midcard squashes are costing Ryback (and, by proxy, WWE) millions of dollars.  Feed me more losses.

Randy Orton d Dolph Ziggler in what is said to be a really good match.  Hopefully Dolph got to look like he was on Orton’s level, and isn’t just a jobber-to-the-stars.

Daniel Bryan d Damien Sandow After the match, the Wyatts reminded Bryan that they still intend to make him squeal like a piggy.

Intercontinental Champion Big E Langston d US Champion Dean Ambrose in a non-title match. Luckily, no gross injuries this time around, so that’s nice.

Roman Reigns d Mark Henry with the World’s Strongest Spear.  Reigns continues to look like an unstoppable killing machine.  Babyface Mark Henry is Teflon, so this is good booking.

John Cena d Seth Rollins in a match with one possible finish.

WATCH this show.  Lots of great wrestling and logical booking, even if it gets cut up with commercial breaks.  You’re doing yourself a disservice as a wrestling fan if you don’t at least DVR this show.