Over the course of seven days, there’s a lot of wrestling on TV. But only some of it is actually worth watching. That’s where Spoiler Alert comes in: we break down the spoilers of all of WWE’s pre-taped shows to let you know what you should watch, and which segments and full shows you should skim or skip. This week, Bray Wyatt and his Dueling Banjoes Band wreak havoc on SmackDown, and Main Event manages to make less sense than NXT only being available on Hulu.
(spoilers via LordsOfPain.net)
This is usually a pretty good, logical show. This week? I’m not so sure.
Natalya d AJ Lee via DQ (DIVAS TITLE MATCH)
That’s right; we’re starting this bad boy with an poorly advertised Divas title match — there was a convoluted callback on Raw where they briefly showed AJ getting Sharpshootered by Natalya two weeks ago on SmackDown — featuring the most popular diva since Trish Stratus.
Anyway, Nattie takes the win when Tamina interferes, and AJ runs away through the crowd with the title. Hopefully this angle is acknowledged on a future show, Nattie gets a little revenge on Tamina, and an honest title shot against AJ Lee. I won’t hold my breath.
Justin Gabriel d Tyson Kidd
Everything about this match is wrong. EVERYTHING. For starters, Kidd JUST CAME BACK from injury, and has been kinda-pushed on Raw for the last two weeks. Having him job out on the show nobody watches is mind-boggling.
Secondly, before Kidd got hurt, these guys were teaming regularly. Why are they wrestling each other? Why aren’t they taking on The Real Americans? The Shield? The Wyatts? The Ascension? Why are they fighting EACHOTHER, WITH NO BUILDUP?
Third, both of these guys, last I checked, were faces. Their styles pretty much demand it. Either of these guys playing the heel….sucks. It just sucks.
3MB d R-Truth & The Prime Time Players
You read that correctly. The guys who job twice a week to a team with a tiny bull mascot just pulled off a win. Who’d they beat? The guy who JUST BEAT RYBACK CLEAN. Who else? The team that, just a few short months ago, seemed destined for the tag titles. So much for THAT face turn.
SKIP this show… the booking is illogical and the results are inconsequential. Watching this show would be a mentally-exhausting waste of time.
(spoilers via WrestleZone.com)
Main event is announced as CM Punk and Daniel Bryan vs Ryback and Curtis Axel. Considering what Heyman had to say about Ryback on Raw, I see this show ending very badly for Mr. Joe Hennig.
Luke Harper & Erick Rowan d The Usos
Bray cuts a promo after the match, and is attacked by an Uso. Wyatt has him visit Sister Abigail, then finishes his promo – promising victory against Punk and D-Bry at Survivor Series.
Ryback is backstage. The former Paul Heyman guy doesn’t want to team with the least-successful Paul Heyman guy ever. Who would?
Natalya d Tamina
Oh look, follow-up to that disaster on Main Event. AJ Lee gets knocked off the apron. Hopefully this is going somewhere, considering all three of these women can actually, you know, wrestle. The only way Nattie will ever get the title, though, is if she turns around and hands it to Summer Rae. The clueless announcers call her Mrs. Fandango. I call her the future Mrs. Angry Andy—and the future Divas Champion.
R-Truth & The Prime Time Players d 3MB
This does NOT excuse what you did on Main Event. Period.
John Cena d Alberto Del Rio in an ARM WRESTLING MATCH
This one was 2 out of 3 falls, so Cena won 2-0. Naturally. Del Rio says “oh yeah?” and puts him through a table. Nothing builds the reputation of a damaged title while simultaneously selling a pay-per-view like an arm wrestling match (WITH WEP-UNS.)
Cameron & Naomi d The Bella Twins
Were Asksana and Alicia Fox busy? At least the babyfaces won, I guess. Oh, wait. They are all faces, but less over than HBAJ and Sheisel.
The Great Khali d Hunico & Camacho
Welcome back, Hunico! Maybe you’d be better off taking some piggy-back bookings from Chris Hero.
CM Punk & Daniel Bryan vs Ryback & Curtis Axel
This one ends in a no contest, when the Wyatt Family attacks. The lights go out, and when they come on, all former WWE Champions have disappeared. The Wyatts still need to complete their Deliverance roleplay, so make Ryback and Axel squeal like piggies instead. Punk and Bryan come out from under the ring and attack Rowan and Harper. Bray Wyatt escapes up the ramp.
SKIM this show. DVR is your friend. This one starts and ends strong with a LOT of filler sandwiched in between.