What’s the Worst That Could Happen? Impact Wrestling, 10/10

This week’s edition of Impact Wrestling falls on the third anniversary of “the night The Band got back together” 10/10/10, but ironically/luckily will contain no Hulk Hogan as TNA focuses on the fallout from his abrupt exit from power and the larger build towards Bound For Glory. Below is a rundown of all advertised segments:

TNA Says: 

What will the the fallout from “The Immortal” Hulk Hogan telling TNA President Dixie Carter to take his job and shove it? Carter wanted Hogan on #TeamDixie, but in a major shocker, the former IMPACT General Manager told her “I QUIT” and walked out! How will Carter react to what Hogan did? Is it really the end of Hulkamania in TNA? And without Hulk this Thursday, WILL IMPACT FALL INTO COMPLETE CHAOS?

Best Case Scenario: Dixie comes out and gloats big time, completely no-selling her emotional breakdown at the end of last week’s show. She says that she has kicked wrestling’s greatest icon out of wrestling, which makes her the new “Immortal One.” The crowd boos while Hulk Hogan sits at home, nervously hovering over the phone.

Worst Case Scenario: Just as Dixie is clearing her throat to start running down Hogan, his music hits and he steps out on stage. Hogan claims to have cut a deal with “the network” which puts him in total control of the company. Dixie gets all emotional and shout-y like the low rent Stephanie McMahon she is, and then that angle, you know, plays out for the ten-thousandth unsuccessful time.

Dave Says: Read that preview again, inserting a minor chord from an organ at the end of every sentence. It’ll help you imagine what wrestling would be like as a 1930s radio serial.

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TNA Says:

The countdown continues to TNA’s biggest event of the year – “Bound For Glory” on October 20! How will Magnus prepare for his BFG bout against “The Icon” Sting? Plus – X Division Champion Manik, Austin Aries, Jeff Hardy and Chris Sabin get ready for the Ultimate X Match! MORE matches will be announced on Thursday’s broadcast!

Best Case Scenario: Magnus cuts a still-babyface promo about what it would mean for him to beat Sting at BFG. He clearly establishes that a victory would propel him into the top tier of TNA without playing up the whole “I’ve been a screw-up” angle that has played out over the last two weeks. Each of the Ultimate X competitors cuts a short Royal Rumble-style promo explaining why he is the man to watch at Bound For Glory. The babyfaces (Manik and Hardy) have short squash matches to shine them up as the favorites to win.

Worst Case Scenario: Magnus and Sting come to the ring together, but as they talk about their match, the “intensity boils over,” leading to the two of them brawling, thus exposing everything Sting can possibly do in a match other than the Stinger Splash, the Death Drop, and the Scorpion Deathlock. Teddy Long debuts in TNA and sets up a babyface vs. heel tag match featuring the Ultimate X competitors to give us “a little taste of Bound For Glory, playa’!”

Dave Says: Last week, these two matches were put together to anchor the midcard of Bound For Glory. These are really intriguing match-ups, but TNA are fools if they think these are their Undertaker and Money in the Bank matches at Wrestlemania, so to speak.

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TNA Says:

Christopher Daniels and Kazarian surprised Bobby Roode this past Thursday night when they informed him he would be the 1st member of the E.G.O. Hall of Fame. What will happen when Roode is officially inducted by Daniels and Kaz this Thursday on Spike?

Best Case Scenario: I get to have my cake and eat it too when Bad Influence throws Roode a hilariously cheesy and over-the-top party, followed by a long beatdown that the crowd boos like crazy.

Worst Case Scenario: Largely-forgotten Tag Team Champions GunStorm break up the EGO lovefest and cut a thinly-veiled homophobic promo on the heels, which somehow gets a more positive crowd reaction than anything else on the night. A six-man tag is announced for BFG featuring EGO vs. GunStorm and… uhhh… I dunno, The Missing Link.

Dave Says: This could go several acceptable, but very different, directions. On one hand, this could be a really funny segment to break up the seriousness of building towards the company’s biggest event. On the other, it’s always a possibility that Daniels and Kaz are lulling Roode into a false sense of security to jump him and turn him babyface.

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TNA Says:

Lei’D Tapa has arrived to the ranks of the Knockouts! The dominant TNA newcomer made an instant impact by attacking Velvet Sky this past week! What’s next for the imposing Knockout as she plans to unleash a path of destruction? Who is next on her list? Tune in and find out!

Best Case Scenario: TNA brings in some kind of female jobber who Tapa can actually go over and look strong against before calling out Knockouts Champion ODB. Tapa doesn’t do that whole screaming deal she does.

Worst Case Scenario: Tapa and ODB touch, destroying the mystique that they might have a halfway watchable match at Bound For Glory. Tapa does that whole screaming deal she does.

Dave Says: Considering the size of the Knockouts’ roster at the moment, Lei’D Tapa’s “path of destruction” will be about as long as the walk from my living room to my fridge to get a drink — which, aptly enough, is exactly what I’ll do the second she appears on TV.

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TNA Says:

Plus, WHO is ETHAN and when will he arrive in IMPACT WRESTLING? We got a sneak peek this past week – more to come on Thursday night!

Best Case Scenario: Ethan debuts, cuts a promo explaining who he actually is and what he stands for, and works a three minute squash match against a jobber to establish his style and finisher.

Worst Case Scenario: Either Ethan’s debut gets Brodus Clay-bumped to some point in the indefinite future or Ethan is revealed to be the returning Glen Gilbertti (Seriously, did you see that teaser last week?! The voice, the back of the head… it was weird!), leading Mike Tenay to unleash his signature forced-shock scream of “HOLY S–T, IT’S DISQO!!!”

Dave Says: Introducing a new low-to-midcard character just weeks before your biggest event is a somewhat questionable strategy. The appearance of Ethan (is it “ETHAN” like “KENTA,” or are they just using caps to show they’re really excited?) at this point will only take away from the time TNA has to hype their important matches. What possible plans could TNA have for Ethan headed into BFG? A squash match that the crowd boos out of the building?