It’s 8PM Eastern Daylight Time on Wednesday night. What does that mean (until the end of May)? It’s T-Minus 24 hours to this week’s edition of Impact Wrestling! While this show is taped, Dave has avoided (or forgotten, he doesn’t remember which) all spoilers and written this preview using TNA’s official release:
TNA says: Thursday’s broadcast will feature the World Title contract signing between Bully Ray and Sting for their main event bout at Slammiversary! Sting and Bully Ray will make the match official on Thursday on SpikeTV – the question is, will all hell break loose between champion and challenger? Don’t miss the contract signing on Thursday!
Dave says: Contract signings come in two flavors: tense and barf. My favorite contract signing segment of all time occurred on Impact between Angelina Love and Awesome Kong. Rudy Charles went through a table for Kong and Angelina cut an unbelievable “I’m not scared of you” promo.
Best case scenario: Bully Ray cuts a promo saying he’s going to destroy Sting, not destroy TNA. The veteran babyface (Sting) shows that he is just as smart as Bully Ray by goading the pompous, blustering heel into a clause in the contract stating Aces and Eights will be locked out of the building during their match.
Worst case scenario: Sting takes a 3D. If Bully Ray is the World Heavyweight Champion, why are we watching him do a tag team move to show his dominance?
TNA says: “The Monster” Abyss made his surprise return to TNA this past week, joining Sting and Kurt Angle to defeat The Aces and Eights! Will we hear from Abyss this Thursday? Where has he been? How will Joseph Park react to his brother’s return? Don’t miss it!
Dave says: One day I hope to write a paragraph punctuated entirely by exclamation points and question marks. I hope that when people read it, the end of each sentence will be highlighted with a minor chord on an organ like in an old fashioned radio serial. At any rate…
Best case scenario: Joseph Park mysteriously “disappears,” hinting that he and Abyss have been the same person all along. Abyss says between zero and six words, gives Bischoff and Brisco his big moves, but the heavies in Aces and Eights escape to regroup and fight another day.
Worst case scenario: Joseph and Chris Park in the ring at the same time with a developmental wrestler playing Abyss. This is a Defcon 1 level worst case scenario.
TNA says: The X Division Championship will be on the line on Thursday as Kenny King defends in a three-way match against Chris Sabin and Petey Williams! Can Sabin continue his amazing comeback to regain the gold? Will Williams reclaim his spot atop the division? Or, will King continue to reign supreme?
Dave says: It doesn’t make any sense to take Sabin out of the title matches given his comeback storyline, but I don’t see a title change either — save it for Slammiversary if you’re going with Sabin. I guess that leaves one guy to do the job.
Best case scenario: Sabin looks strong and gets in his moves while King and Williams fly for him. King, however, takes advantage of an opportune moment (no ref bump, though, please!) and pins Petey, sending him down to the qualifying matches.
Worst case scenario: Chris Sabin destroys his knee on a blown spot and the X Division has no over babyfaces.
TNA says: The World Tag Team Champions will be in action on Thursday in separate matches as Chavo Guerrero faces Bobby Roode, while Hernandez battles Christopher Daniels!
Dave says: This is interesting in that TNA still can’t get off the pot on which heel tag team is really feuding with the champs. My guess given the Austin Aries mess is that Bad Influence will emerge as the real contenders heading into Slammiversary.
Best case scenario: Chavo loses cleanly when Roode hits his finisher in the middle of the ring. Daniels flies for Hernandez and loses cleanly when Hernandez hits his finisher in the middle of the ring after Kaz is banned from ringside by the referee .
Worst case scenario: Roode jobs because he was never a part of WCW or WWE. Hernandez makes every spot look awkward despite being in the ring with one of the best hands in the company.
TNA says: Thursday’s IMPACT will also feature Knockouts action as Knockouts Champion Velvet Sky takes on longtime rival Gail Kim
Dave says: I understand that Velvet Sky is very over at house shows, but goodness gracious, I don’t know how many Vel Vel matches my heart has left in it.
Best case scenario: Gail Kim gets a ton of heat on Velvet by beating her up the whole match. Velvet “hulks up” feeding off the crowd and wins clean — I might not love her, but she’s the champion!
Worst case scenario: The entire story of the match is built around Gail’s inability to get along with the referee. The whole Taryn Terrell thing gave Gail way too legit a gripe about unfairness for someone who’s supposed to be the top heel.
TNA says: Plus, former Gut Check participants will battle in a tournament for a spot in the upcoming Bound For Glory Series! In the first match on Thursday, Jay Bradley will face Christian York!
Dave says: The Adam Peace decision completely derailed Gut Check for me. The most likable part of the segments is Danny Davis, who seems like he knows something about wrestling, which is terrifyingly rare on wrestling TV shows.
Best case scenario: This turns into a hair-vs-hair match, which Christian York loses. Bradley wins with the Western Lariat, or whatever his finish is.
Worst case scenario: The crowd has absolutely no reaction to either man. Christian York tries a spot he saw 2 Cold Scorpio do once.
Dave will return in THUNDERBALL (or some kind of reaction to something on Impact)